Bleach Discovers Fanfiction!
by watermelonxpeaches18
Summary: Title basically says it all...IchiRuki, and lots more! Rated T just to be safe.
1. Assignment

I got inspired for this when I was reading this really angsty fic and I thought it would be interesting/hilarious if the actual characters read it. (Like "that never happened" or "how did _they_ know?")

Disclaimer- watermelonxpeaches18 does not own Bleach.

Warnings: OOCness and possible misnaming of the teacher

Ichigo POV

"Kurosaki-san, I'd like to speak with you after class," requested the teacher.

Ichigo groaned inwardly but relied, "Yes, Sensei."

Rukia shot him a confused glace.

"What did you do this time?" she mouthed as she left the classroom.

Ichigo shrugged and made his way up to the teacher's desk. She adjusted her glasses.

"Kurosaki-san, it has come to my attention that your English grades are rather…lacking." she informed him sternly.

Ichigo cussed incoherently under his breath. With all the hollow activity lately, he had virtually no time for school work. Coming home at around one in the morning wasn't exactly the best studying conditions. He didn't know how Rukia did it. Maybe her gigai had built in intelligence. So unfair.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to give you a large project over the winter break in order to pass you in that class." Occhi-sensei's voice brought him back to the present.

Nodding resignedly, Ichigo noted that this was uncharacteristically stern of her. Shaking it off, he asked the obvious question:

"Soooooo….what's the assignment?"

Eyes glinting playfully, she replied, "I think you'll like this assignment. It involves the Internet. I need you to go to a certain website: . For now, just explore the site a bit. It's actually quite interesting. But for your long term project, you need to do three things. First, choose a book, manga/anime, TV show, or movie to focus on. Second, review at least three stories within that category. Third, write a report on the site as a whole, using example entries and lastly, write a multi-chapter story yourself."

Ichigo blinked at the overload of information.

"Wait, fanfiction…reviews…multi-chapter? Can you write this down?" he pleaded weakly.

"Don't worry," she reassured him, chuckling, "I'll send you an email with all this later. But for right now, your main job is to just get a feel for the website."

"Okay," Ichigo sighed in relief, "I can do that. Do you have any suggestions on what category I should focus on?"

An all-too familiar mischievous smile spread across Occhi-sensei's face.

"I would suggest doing it on Bleach," she recommended innocently, "I think it would be a good match for you. You could probably empathize very well with the main character. Bleach fanfictions are in the Anime/Manga section."

Ichigo nodded his thanks and turned to leave.

"Have fun!" she called out after him.

He grunted in response and exited the classroom, and she sighed happily.

"He just walked right into that one," she thought, extremely amused, "That boy needs so much help. How I enjoy screwing with my student's lives!"

Sighing contentedly once again, she turned her attention back to her computer screen, where she was halfway through writing her forty-third Bleach fanfic.

Ichigo shouldered his backpack and left the classroom to find Rukia waiting for him.

"Hey, midget. Thanks for waiting."

"You're welcome. And I'm not a midget." she replied.

"You just keep on believing that."

Ignoring him, she asked, "What did she want to talk to you about?"

"Who, Occhi-sensei?" he clarified, "She's giving me this extra-credit project thing over winter break to make up for all the suckish ones I've gotten because of all these freaking hollows. It was weird though, she had this evil-ish sort of look to her when she told me what to do."

"And the assignment being..?"

"I'm supposed to explore this website called fanfiction," he explained, "And I have to choose a category. She suggested this one, so I'll probably just do that."

"Fanfiction? What's that, like fiction…for fans?" Rukia figured dubiously.

"Genius. Did you figure that out all by yourself?" Ichigo inquired sarcastically.

"Whatever…so then what is it?"

"Heck if I know."

Rukia sighed melodramatically and ceased he interrogation, ending the conversation by forcing Ichigo to let her help.

"Why do you want to help?"

"Because I think it's interesting," she admitted earnestly, "And I know there's something off about this. I don't really trust Occhi-sensei to give you an assignment that does not correlate to your extreme embarrassment."

"So?"

"So I want to figure out what the catch is," she confessed, "Sooooo…I can help?"

"God! Fine, you can help."

Rukia wore her smug smile with pride all the way to Ichigo's house.

Yay! I'm done! And it's not all that crappy!

I'll probably bring in some other characters soon. How very exciting…

R&R PLEASE! (It will make Ichigo happy…;3)


	2. Discovery

**Hey people! *dodges flying tomatoes and rotten vegetables* Okay, maybe I deserved that. I'M SO SORRY FOR UPDATING THIS LATE! And with such a measly scrap of a chappie as well. However, I do have a number of excuses, no matter how pitiful they may be. First of all, I was updating one of my other stories (Vacation BLEACH STYLE) and it has insanely long chapters. Secondly, I have recently become addicted to HitsuHina AUs, all thanks to PhoenixSong4232, who's amazing fic "Frozen Secret" is literally the BEST ON THE PLANET. Read it. And finally, my mother banned me from the computer because fanfiction was consuming my life. So, I had to type this up on my IPod Touch (which is extremely hard to do) and secretly send it to myself. So again, I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LATE UPDATE.**

**Fanfics inside this fic are in bold. Also, in ichirukilvr21's (who does not exist in real life) fic it isn't the whole fic, just parts, hence the … **

**Disclaimer: Bleach. I don't own it. *cries***

**Warnings: Fillerness and slight OOCness.**

Ichigo clicked on the Anime/Manga category, and then on the Bleach section. A screen with fanfics on it filled his view. **(1) **Rukia peered at the monitor with interest.

"IchiRuki: After the War," she recited, "IchiRuki…what's that?"

Ichigo shrugged, just as puzzled as she was.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say it was a combination of our names," he presumed slowly, "But that's impossible."

"I don't know about that," said Rukia uneasily, pointing to the words in gray underneath the description, "Look at what this says. Characters: Ichigo K. and Rukia K."

Severely shaken, Ichigo continued reading the information out loud.

"Rating: T. Language: English. Genres: Angst and Romance?"

Rukia dry swallowed.

"Read it," she instructed, her curiosity getting the better of her. Ichigo obediently clicked on the link. A page filled with writing appeared on the screen, and the two shinigami anxiously began to read.

** Hey guys! It's me, and I'm back with yet another IchiRuki. As you can tell I'm slightly obsessed with this pairing. *squeals* They remind me so much of two of my students! ;3 *sigh* Highschoolers are so cute.**

**Disclaimer: ichirukilvr21 DOES NOT own Bleach.**

**Warnings: Extreme angst.**

…**Ichigo lay on his bed, staring at the picture of Rukia. It was the only thing he kept that reminded him of his life as a shinigami, prior to the final battle with Aizen. He wasn't sure why…**

** …An assignment to Karakura Town? Rukia looked up…**

** ... "Hey, Rukia," Renji called, "You should go. Then you can stalk Ichigo. You have been obsessing over him lately." Then he realized that she had already volunteered and was glaring at him…**

** …Rukia floated down into the street, then shunpoed into Ichigo's window. About to speak to him, she decided against it and stopped to watch him. To her embarrassment, he began taking his shirt off…**

Ichigo and Rukia stared at the display in shock, dumbfounded. Unable to help themselves, their eyes were glued to the page, and their hearts accelerated with each word.

Upon finishing the chapter and catching his breath, Ichigo found his voice and sputtered, "Wow. That is-wow. Just…WOW. This is insane."

Rukia, also nearly speechless, stammered, "They know everything about us. How could this have happened? They know where we live, everything that's happened to us, about Aizen, our families, even our feelings…I mean!"

Her cheeks flushed a rosy pink.

"I-I mean, they completely made the romance part up," she said shakily, mortified at her slip up.

Ichigo, who had been having the same thoughts as well, hastily changed the subject.

"Don't we have to tell Soul Society about this?" he questioned, "Y'know, just in case it's a security risk."

Rukia nodded, thankful for the new topic.

"I can get Urahara to open a Senkaimon tomorrow," she decided, "Then we'll get someone important to come with us and examine this further…preferably not nii-sama."

"Actually, I was thinking Toshiro," Ichigo admitted, revealing that he did indeed have a brain after all.

"Sound's good to me."

That matter settled, Ichigo and Rukia went to bed, although neither slept. Instead, they stayed awake, minds swirling. It was certainly going to be an interesting day tomorrow.

**So, can anybody guess who ichirukilvr21 is? It will be revealed later…**

**I forgot to say this at the beginning, but thank you to all the reviewers! Your reviews were very helpful and had some great ideas. Also, to novicestar if it's all right with you then I would really like to use at least one of your fanfics. I read 'em and they're great! XD So review and tell me if that would be okay.**

**REVIEW PLEASE! IF YOU DO THEN ICHIGO WILL PAY YOU!**

**Ichigo: Say what?**

**Me: THAT'S RIGHT! OUR VERY OWN ICHIGO KUROSAKI HAS GENEROUSLY OFFERED TO BRIBE REVIEWERS!**

**Ichigo: What? I never…*sigh* I give up.**

**Me: XD**


	3. A Surprise Lemon

**Yai! Imma back, with a new chappie. Yes, inspiration has returned. Thank you, O Fanfiction Gods! **

**Rukia: *grumbles* Took you long enough.**

**Me: *cries* I'M SO SORRY! I APOLOGIZE **_**TO THE WORLD!(AND TO MY READERS)**_

**Ichigo: …aaaaaaand she's finally gone insane.**

**Me: Gone? I started out this way. Now shut up and do the disclaimer.**

**Ichigo: Disc-**

**Rukia: DISCLAIMER: WATERMELONXPEACHES18 DOES NOT OWN BLEACH! PEACE OUT SUCKAS!**

**Ichigo: …**

"Wake up, Strawberry!"

The Kuchiki princess launched a pillow at Ichigo's face. When he failed to respond, she landed a devastating kick squarely in his stomach.

"Oof! What the #$%, Rukia?"

Rukia rolled her eyes and glared at him petulantly, her hands planted firmly on her hips.

"Rise and shine! I said that we were going to Urahara's today, didn't I?" she insisted, "So get your #$ out of bed and _go_."

Ichigo sat up slowly, blearily blinking his eyes as they struggled to focus.

"What time is it?" he demanded groggily, "I swear it's still yesterday."

Ichigo continued grumbling to himself.

"#$% midget…unholy hour of the morning…don't know _why_…early…"

"You done yet?" she queried impatiently.

"Not yet. #$%. You. Now I'm done."

Chuckling, Rukia retorted, "SOMEONE'S not a morning person."

"Meh. Let's just go already."

Reluctantly defeated, Ichigo allowed himself to be hauled out of bed and half-dragged to Urahara Shoten. Urahara was predictably standing at the door, waiting for them as if he knew they would be coming.

"Fancy seeing you here," he smirked, his fan hovering innocently near his face.

"Morning, Urahara," yawned Ichigo, "We need a favor."

The fan fluttered.

"What kind of favor?" he inquired, feigning ignorance, "And what for?"

Rukia spoke up.

"We need a Senkaimon," she explained, "So that we can meet with Hitsugaya-taicho."

"Why do you need to meet with him?" asked the shopkeeper.

Rukia looked at Ichigo, who grudgingly clarified.

"We found this website called fanfiction, " he explicated, "And Rukia thinks-OOF! I mean, we think that it's a security risk. So we need to talk to someone important, i.e. Toshiro."

Urahara considered this, his #$% fan wavering thoughtfully.

"All right," he relented, "I'll do it. This should take about half an hour, though, so you can wait inside."

He held the door open for them and the two shinigami entered cautiously. Something furry rubbed against Ichigo's leg and he flinched. It was Yoruichi, in cat form.

"This way," she purred, and led them to a slightly cramped room with a computer barely visible behind the towering stacks of paper, "Make yourselves at home."

She slinked out of the room to assist Urahara with the Senkaimon. (Basically, she yells at him to hurry his $$# up.) Ichigo carefully moved a stack of research notes aside and sat on the computer chair. Rukia rested her head on his shoulder.

"You know…" she alluded, "His computer is already logged on…on his PERSONAL ACCOUNT…where he keeps his SECRET FILES and PERSONAL DIARY…and with the click of a button, we could see EVERYTHING."

At that moment, Zangetsu popped onto his shoulder in mini-size, dressed in a long white dress with angel wings and a halo.

"Don't do it, Ichigo," he preached, his hands pressed together as if he was praying, "You know that's not right."

Then Hichigo popped into existence, with bat wings, devil horns, a spiked tail and a goatee.

"Don' listen ta Old Man Zangetsu," he scoffed, "That geezer don' know what 'e's talkin' 'bout anymore. Go 'head, read it. It prob'ly reeeeeal juicy."

Ichigo, thoroughly confused, did the natural thing. He swatted Zangetsu off his shoulder and clicked on the file.

"Yeah! Screw you, old man!" cheered Hichigo.

Ichigo appraised the hollow sourly, then raised one hand and flicked him onto the ground with Zangetsu.

Rukia peered at the blank word document eagerly.

"Read it!" she encouraged.

Ichigo dutifully clicked on recent documents, and selected the first one, which was titled "LEMON" in bold letters and all caps.

While they waited for the file to load, Rukia wondered aloud, "Why is Urahara writing about fruit?"

Just then, Urahara burst into the room, slide tackled them both to the ground, and stood up, frantically blocking the screen.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" he asked, aghast.

"W-we were just l-l-looking," Ichigo stuttered, "We didn't-"

_"DO YOU WANT TO BE SCARRED FOR LIFE?"_ the shopkeeper demanded, "THAT WAS A LEMON! A RATED M LEMON! FOR BLEACH FANFICTION!"

Seeing the shocked expressions on their faces, he calmed down a bit.

"Look, you don't want to read this," he explained, "I don't expect you to know what lemons are, . Just leave the computer alone while I finish the Senkaimon."

With that, he closed Word and exited the room, leaving Ichigo and Rukia on the floor, frozen in astonishment.

"Urahara…writes Bleach fanfiction?" Rukia said slowly, "Well, I'm not sure whether to be surprised or not. This is Urahara we're talking about."

"So…" Ichigo began, "We're still gonna read it, right?"

"Heck yeah."

…

After leaving the computer room, Urahara was greeted by a small round of applause.

"Bravo," congratulated Yoruichi, "Brilliant performance."

The merchant took of his hat and bowed.

"So they ARE going to read it, right?" Yoruichi checked.

"Of course," Urahara scoffed, "I left the computer on and everything. According to my calculations, they will have seen it in 3…2…1."

A strangled yelp reverberated from the computer room.

"THAT'S-THAT'S JUST WRONG!" Ichigo screamed.

"WHY US? WHY? DOES THE UNIVERSE HATE ME?" Rukia demanded.

"HOW DOES HE EVEN COME UP WITH THIS STUFF?"

"I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS EVEN POSSIBLE!"

"DAMN ICHIRUKI! IT SAYS THAT 45,982 PEOPLE FAVORITED THIS…NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Urahara sighed in pleasure.

"Did I call that or what?"

**This chappie was sorta longish, maybe? I'm sooooooo sorry for the short chapters and long gaps between updates. SO DID'JA LIKE IT? PLEASE? Next chappie, Shiro-chan is finally here.**

**Random Fangirls of DOOM: *squeals* TOSHIRO! SHIRO-CHAN! WE LOVE YOU!**

**Me: *sigh* Eh, what the heck. *fangirl squeal* GO SHIRO-CHAN!**

**WHOEVER GIVES ME THE LONGEST REVIEW WILL HAVE SHIRO-CHAN AS THEIR VERY OWN PERSONAL SLAVE FOR A DAY!**

**Toshiro: !**

**Ichigo: What did I tell you?**

**Toshiro: Daiguren, Hyorinmaru! *attacks me***

**Me: *evades bankai with epic ninja fangirl skills***

**Toshiro: Meh. *attacks me AGAIN***

**Me: *counters with wave of fangirls* DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE FANGIRL! GO GET EM' GIRLS!**

**Toshiro: Noooooooooooooo!**

**R&R PLEASE!**


	4. SHIROCHAAAAAN!

**Hola. Hee. Dish ish chappie number four! Mrrrr. As I said before, we have someone very special in dish chappie. SHIRO-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! *squeal***

Yoruichi poofed back into human form, pulled on her clothes and prissily strolled into the now-silent computer room. She observed to two shinigami lying sprawled on the floor and foaming at the mouth.

"Get up, wusses," she commanded, prodding Ichigo with her foot, "Stop acting like you haven't imagined a lemon at least once before. The Senkaimon is ready."

Shakily, Ichigo and Rukia stirred, just as Urahara entered the room.

"You…#$%...pervert," the strawberry spat out, "Where the #$% do you come up with stuff like that? And why us?"

"D-d-#$% IchiRuki," Rukia stuttered, still recovering, "And #$% your 45,982 followers. Why must the world be filled with perverts?"

Urahara's fan slyly obscured his face.

"I have my sources," he answered, referring to Ichigo's questions, "*cough* Yoruichi *cough*. And for why you, isn't it obvious?"

The flamboyant shopkeeper was met with a pair of blank stares.

"Not a clue."

"_NO._"

"Please enlighten us-"

"-because we're _dying_ to know."

They finished by concluding in sync: "Trust me."

Urahara chuckled.

"You really have no idea?" he confirmed, amused, "It's because you two are just too #$% adorable together! I mean, really. A beautiful girl, living in a hot guy's closet, unbeknownst to the rest of the family! Two people who have said on countless occasions that they would willingly give their lives for eachother! The same pair who repeatedly banter with eachother to hide their lustful feelings! You're so in tune with eachother that you even answer at the same time! And you say YOU DON'T KNOW? THIS IS A WRITER'S HEAVEN! And, of course, there's also the fact-"

"Okay, we get it!" Ichigo interjected, frantically waving his hands in the air to make him stop," Translation: You're not even a regular pervert. You're a deluded one."

Yoruichi smiled roguishly.

"Still in denial, huh?" she verified, absentmindedly twirling a lock of hair, "Thought so."

Ichigo and Rukia were portraits of fury.

"!"

"NO ONE IS IN DENIAL HERE EXCEPT _YOU_!" Rukia screamed, pointing a condemning finger at the ex-taichos, "Just…take us to the Senkaimon, okay?

Smiling that "you'll-see-I'm-right-just-you-wait smile that annoys the #$% out of everyone, the shopkeeper obliged, and led them to the underground training facility where the giant paper gate stood.

"All yours," he offered, taking off his hat.

Scowling, Ichigo and Rukia pushed their way past the two connivers and fearlessly leaped into the mass of reishi. After they left Urahara slung his arm around Yoruichi.

"They are just _too_ cute," he commented, "It makes me want to write a fanfic."

Yoruichi sighed fondly.

"_Everything_ makes you want to write a fanfic," she replied, ruffling his hair, "Looks like you could use some inspiration…"

…

Instead of appearing in the usual place, to Ichigo and Rukia's surprise they exited somewhere else: the sky about half a mile above Seireitei. #$% Urahara. They froze in place for a second, and then began their plummet. Shocked, they fell until just before they would have splatted onto the rooftop, when it occurred to them to use shunpo. (Che. Idiots.) Quickly flash-stepping away, they arrived safely on the ground.

"That…was a close one," Rukia huffed, "Got to think more.

"Yeah," Ichigo panted, "A LOT more."

"ICHIGO! RUKIA! I MISSED YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Bewildered, Ichigo turned around just in time to be engulfed in what most people called Rangiku's Boobs of Death. (Everyone else-mainly the perverts- called them something else…)

"MMF! Matsumoto…can't…breathe…" he choked out.

Rukia watched them as an unwelcome feeling settled in her stomach. Rangiku noticed the resentful frown on the petite shinigami's face, and she released Ichigo, who immediately began gulping down great lungfuls of much-needed air. A coy smile flashed across the busty blonde's face.

"Sorry, Rukia," she apologized, winking, "I forgot that he was taken."

Rukia's cheeks colored a deep crimson.

"Oh, no," she responded weakly, "We…we're not…I…i-it's fine. I don't mind."

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. And Hitsugaya-taicho is in love with Aizen," Rangiku replied sarcastically, "Seeing that you are stuck in the depths of DENIAL, why are you here?"

Ichigo scowled.

"Why is it that everyone…never mind. We're here to see Toshiro." he explained.

"Oh," replied Matsumoto in a bored tone, "Well, that's no fun. TAICHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Dead silence.

Matsumoto rolled her eyes.

"Fine," she grumbled to herself, "If he wants to do it the hard way…TAICHO! AIZEN'S COME BACK AND HE'S RAPING MOMO!"

A white-haired blur skidded into view, and stopped, Hyorinmaru at the ready.

"AS SOON AS I FIND THAT SON OF A-"

He halted, then turned to Matsumoto, his glare livid.

"Why did you do that?" he asked quietly, in a dangerously low voice.

She shrugged, unaffected.

"Honestly, I didn't expect you to fall for it again," she admitted, "But it was worth a try."

Toshiro stared at her blankly.

"And it worked too, didn't it, Rukia?" she added brightly.

Toshiro turned.

"I…you didn't see anything…" he alluded, and Rukia and Ichigo nodded hastily, "Now. What do you want?"

Rukia stepped forward.

"We need your help to check out a security risk," she explained, "It's a website called fanfiction, and-"

"OOOOOOOH," Rangiku interjected, "You know, I, uh…have to go do paperwork! Yeah, that's it! Don't bother me, or else I might stop working. I'll be…somewhere else."

With that, she half sprinted away from them, leaving an awkward silence behind, which Ichigo broke.

"Well, that was weird," he commented, "But anyways, let's just show Toshiro and leave."

Rukia nodded.

"Do you have a computer?" she asked.

Frowning, Toshiro answered, "No, but I think they have one in 5th division. We can ask Momo."

He began walking away.

As soon as he got out of earshot, Ichigo whispered to Rukia, "And he'd know _aaaaaall_ about 5th division, wouldn't he?"

Rukia giggled. Poor Toshiro.

**SO, HOW WAS IT? AMAZING? HORRIBLE? DO YOU WANT IT TO DIE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH? Well, whatever you think, please review and tell me!**

**Next chappie, we have…MOMO-CHAN! **

***squeals* I can't wait. YAY HITSUHINA! ;3**


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